March 04, 2011

Spring...new growth

I know I don't write in here as often as I really should. I have no excuse! ha. (I am busy? - hee) Things at home have been fantastic, to the point that there had to be a breaking point. Anyone cynical enough would always question if Pookie and I are truly happy.
Well, we are.
I look forward to the day when I no longer have to work a "regular' job, when I can be home to cook for him in the mornings, when I can take him breakfast, when lunch is an occasion that he can come home to. And when dinner is either waiting for him hot on the table, or we go out to indulge.
I can't wait to see what his babies would look like, and how they would grow to be just like him - sweet, loving, kind-hearted, patient, strong, emotionally available - with his toes, lashes, eye color, hair and overall sunny disposition. I wouldn't want my children to be like me. I am selfish beyond compare. I am finicky, short-tempered, impatient, emotionally a mess - I have major issues. My poor kids would have such an unhappy life dealing with their emotions! Plus I have hideous toes.
In the meantime, I am enjoying being his baby. And I was a big baby a couple days ago.
I was emotionally drained, he was tired, in essence, I snapped - and for the first time ever, I can see clearly that I need to focus on my emotional and mental issues. Something has to change. I am not able to handle the crying and sniveling and the "woe is me" attitude - and if I have a child or two, I have got to get myself in gear - because it will no longer be about me.

In the meantime, we're enjoying cuddling on this beauty of an addition to Casa de Pookie! Isn't he dreamy? I am thinking of calling him Mr. Snuggly - that beats the name of that other couch we had, one I could say was named Mr. Stinky! ha...
One of the things I truly enjoyed when I was at the other apartment, with the original landlords, was planting. Betty imparted a love for plants in me that no-one had. She was fierce about her plants, loving them, weeding, cleaning, raking - keeping the whole place super clean. I fell into it with her, helping her bit by bit, but not really investing any emotion. When my mother died, I turned to it with a passion.
I will never forget how one day, my dad, in a fury, chopped down ALL my mother's plants. He macheted through them, then hoed the roots, burning them all. I'll never really know why, although now that I'm older I think I have an idea. Whatever the case, my mother cried over her rosebushes. When she went back to the house with her second husband, she grew pink, white and red roses. She never could get the hot pink ones to grow though. But, believe it or not, I could! When I started planting, all of a sudden, the one that stuck was the hot pink. I grow plants now in memory of her. And no man will ever chop them down, unless they want to be chopped down too... :D
Anyways. These pictures are of my new start. Spring is here, time for plants to start growing.
I've planted tomatoes, Celosia, sunflowers, zinnias, carnations, larkspur, a hummingibrd vine, passionflower, and of course, the rosebush that only bloomed once. The one I had growing at the other apartment was going nuts...I shall go get my clippings from there this weekend.
Here's hoping I grow more than grass!!

I leave you with a picture of an Osprey nesting. How fitting. I am nesting at home too, making everything comfortable. She's in a precarious position, so close to the electrical wires, but she knows there's no chance of anyone trying to get to her nest. Smart bird that one is! Smart bird!